Got a Secret.. Got to Keep it.

Secret blogging.

via

Oooooo, so scandalous sounding.

In reality, no it isn’t scandalous at all. But for someone like me who has a hard time throwing themselves out into the public eye.. its pretty terrifying (see how that PR and Journalism degree is working out for me?) Plus, people just suck and love to tear down others, remember?

Even in high school or college I was always nervous about giving my speech or presenting my project because I didn’t want people to hate my ideas or think I’m an idiot. I was always too afraid to ask my professors to review my papers before the due date because I didn’t want them to tell me: “This is complete shit, start over, or you’ll fail!” Granted.. I never ran into a situation like that, but the thought was ALWAYS there. Even if I LOVED my idea or project I would overthink it to death and then ultimately ruin any confidence I had on the topic.

So in a way, I guess that fear of people hating things that I create has never escaped me. And ironically.. it’s easier to put things online for complete strangers to see rather than family and friends.

However, I don’t think half of my family or friends would understand a “blog.” It sounds pretty nerdy to me, so I can’t imagine trying to explain “I write on the internet for strangers to see!” It sounds a little odd and like I’m asking for my identity to be stolen.

I’ve read of others who don’t share their blog with family or friends because they don’t want their “voice” to change and I totally get that. I think we filter ourselves enough so why not let loose and speak our mind when we want on a secret platform?

But, I should probably share this with the fiancé, eh?

HI PACO! Don’t get mad if I talk about you sometimes.

Sincerely and Sarcastically,

Nancy

Basically.. I hate hoodies

Isn’t it funny how the mind works? I can’t remember what I ate for breakfast yesterday but hearing one word brought back vivid memories of college. 

The other day I heard someone continuously say the word “basically” and I instantly went back to my college Journalism class. Sitting in a cold room lined with computers, 20+ students and my professor going on about his hatred of the word “basically.” He explained that it brought no meaning to any sentence because its just a pointless filler word and that we should never use it, ever.
 
I couldn’t help but laugh because to this day I still don’t use that word.
A few examples of “words” that irk me:

Hoodie
My sister is the one that pointed out to me how annoying this word is and she is right. I hate saying it. And I hate when other people say it. They were called “sweatshirts” before this term was created and I won’t call them hoodies.

Coupon
How the hell are you supposed to pronounce that? I don’t know and I bet you are self conscious about saying it too. I say “Q-pon” and I hate when people say “COO-pon.

Moist
Enough said. It sounds dirty regardless of how you’re using the word.

Any word…


..that Giada de Laurentiis tries to say with an Italian accent.
Watch the Food Network or Google her cooking show. You’ll understand why she makes me want to claw at my ear drums when she says: Mozzarella, Spa-GET-TEE and Ricotta.

Milk











I grew up pronouncing this “mElk” which I know is incorrect. Someone pointed it out to me in high school (Why did no one tell me earlier?) and now I have to make a conscious effort to not pronounce it with an “e.

Pecan
Have you ever been in a situation where you pronounce this Pee-CAN and then someone loudly says the same thing back to you but only to correct you and call it Pee-CON? No? Just me?
Same goes for:

Caramel
I say car-mel but always seem to get corrected when someone calls it car-a-mel.

This isn’t a word.. but a sound
If you lick food of your fingers and make the sucking sound I hope you get attacked by a pack of rabid wolves. That sound is unnecessary. Seriously. You can remove the food with a napkin but if you must lick it off – it can be done without a sound I promise. I know because I can do this without making that sound.

What words do you not like?



Nancy


Things That Dont’ Make Sense

I was browsing through Facespace the other day and you know how it goes – you click on a link (even though you know you shouldn’t) and it leads to one page, and then to another and to another and so on until it’s 2 a.m. and your eyes are all blood shot and googly looking. Well, I came upon this Buzzfeed link about things that don’t make sense and it inspired me to create my own list.

Things That Don’t Make Sense

How my perfect little short haired border collie sheds more hair than a yeti.

Why beer tastes better at a sporting event.

Why the last hour of work drags on longer than the first 7.

How I manage to get every red light on the way home from work.

Why I look 10x worse using the front face selfie camera thing on the iPhone.

Why Walmart/Target/CVS/Rite Aid/Walgreens/every store in the southern tier is always out of CoverGirl Perfect Point Plus eyeliner in the shade espresso.

Why leggings are still a thing.

Why it’s always beautiful and sunny from 7:30am – 4pm but at 4:30pm when I get home it starts to downpour.

Why prospective employer’s want you to have a minimum of 10 years of experience, your Masters Degree in Business, your Ph.D. in Nuclear Medicine, and 5,000 hours of community service helping orphaned monkeys but then only offer you $10 an hour.

What are some things that don’t make sense to you?

Sincerely and Sarcastically,

Nancy

My Fiance’s Other Woman

I don’t have a problem with sharing. Hell, I think I’m pretty good at sharing and I can attribute that to growing up with 4 other siblings. I don’t mind if someone wants to borrow a purse or shirt or even if they put their hand in my box of Cheese Itz while we watch a movie.

But lately, this whole idea of sharing has been taken to a new level because I feel like I am sharing something very personal.. someone I love.. my fiancé.

Without intending to sound dramatic, he was kind of stolen. By another woman.

Actually, she is just a girl. Too young to understand that what she is doing could cause serious repercussions. But nonetheless, it’s still hurtful. When it all started, I thought maybe it was just a phase and surely it would end before any real damage was done.

But now, I realize that everything has just changed so much. I am no longer the priority. I can see but more importantly, feel it. To make matters worse, he brings her to work and then comes home smelling like her too.

The real tip of the iceberg was when he started to allow her in our bed. OUR bed. Sharing a bed with another girl is something I never could have imagined myself to do. But here I am. It’s shameful. I’ve gotten to the point where I have no options but to just turn my head.

She is gorgeous though so I don’t blame him…..






































While I am jealous of the love they have for each other I love her just as much, please don’t call PETA on me..

Sincerely and Sarcastically,

Nancy

I’d hire men to kidnap my family.

I’ve seen a few of these posts in the past, and if I could remember for the life of me where I saw them I’d reference them but my memory is shot and I feel like a drunk Kim Richards on most days.

kim richards

Anyway. I day dream quite often about winning the lottery. Even if I buy a $1 scratch off ticket I get a brief glimpse of hope that this could be the winning ticket.

charlie and the chocolate factory, lottery

I rarely have cash on me so if I happen to see a few bucks in my wallet and I’m near a lotto machine I instantly think “Wow.. this is a sign.. I need to spend these $3, its meant to be!”

I stand in front of the machine and try to find the ticket that “speaks to me.” 9 out of 10 times that voice is wrong.

But still. It’s fun while it lasts.

WHAT I WOULD DO IF I WON THE LOTTO:

1// I would book a tropical trip for my family and not tell them I won the lottery. I would then stage a kidnapping by men in ski masks who would throw them into large windowless white vans. How amazing would they feel after they find out they are in fact on their way to a tropical location and not getting kidnapped and murdered? Genius. I know.

silverstone

2// I would buy all of the cars I wanted growing up including: a 1970’s VW bug, 2000 VW Beetle, Toyota Celica. Yeah.. I’m super cool.

toyota celica

3// Hire a full time hair stylist.

4// Buy a large property with 7 different houses and 1 communal back yard for my family. Surrounded by an electric fence. And a moat. Filled with crocodiles. That seems a little dramatic but we tend to be antisocial.

5//Eat all the junk I want and then get liposuction. I just want to eat Pizza Hut Stuffed Crust pizza and not feel guilty… I can’t bring myself to eat it now but when if I win the lotto ALL bets are off.

And then I’ll hire a personal trainer. Who looks like Brad Pitt.

…..Better yet – I will hire Brad Pitt circa Fight Club to train me. Purr.

6// Send out an urgent search to find Bailey’s parents and puppy brothers/sisters =( I wonder if she thinks of them ever..

…. Which reminds me.. I’d also get a Change-O Machine to change my brother into a puppy brother.

change o machine, puppy brother

7// Buy a plane for Paco. He’s afraid to fly, but I bet I could get him to go anywhere if he was the pilot.

8// Buy a MargaritaVille restaurant franchise on a Florida beach. Why? Because why not.

9// Start my own reality show.

10// Plan a lavishly expensive dream wedding but then serve pizza and beer (Pizza Hut Stuffed Crust… of course.)

Until then.. I will continue to dream.

Nancy