Is everyone ready for the “New Year, New Me” posts, Facebook statuses and tweets? Good. Because there is nothing we can do about it so we should just embrace it.
I, for one, never follow through on New Years Resolutions. The past couple of years I’ve had every intention to start the New Year as a better person with goals and shit but that typically lasts a couple hours and next thing I know I wake up January 1st wearing nothing but Mardi Gras beads with a slice of pepperoni pizza in my mouth. So it’s safe to say that most new years don’t start out with the most stellar version of myself I’m just going to try to eliminate all possibilities of disappointment right off the bat.
Therefore, I am just going to follow my role model Scotty P’s advice as I enter into 2016 and I encourage you all to do the same.
Baby steps people, baby steps.
But, I am going to leave you with a list of attainable tasks (call them resolutions if you must) I plan to conquer in the New Year.
– Binge watch more Netflix shows (Dexter is currently on deck)
– Find a new type of wine to drink (I’m looking at you Malbec)
– Figure out what “on fleek” means
– Upload my wedding photos to Facebook
– Throw out some stuff (eg. clothes, make up, pantry food from 2010)
– Find out why those ugly, expensive Hunter rain boots are so popular
– Gain enough courage to record a Snapchat video with my voice narrating it
– Learn how to not overcook chicken
– Take down Christmas decorations
– Come to peace with the fact that Scheana from Vanderpump Rules wore a crop top 2 piece wedding gown
Sincerely & Sarcastically,