The Easter Candy Case

I have an immense sweet tooth which I’ve talked about here before. I like pretty much all candy, even circus peanuts and black licorice jelly beans. I try to limit my sugar intake but when Holiday’s seem to revolve around candy and sweets I have a hard time passing the candy dish without digging my paws into it. But that is not the point of today’s post. Today we talking about something more serious. I’ve had a little over a week to think about this and I’ve come to the certain conclusion that…


I’m pretty shocked that I feel this way since Halloween is my favorite holiday but I have developed a compelling case that I think you’d be interested in.

Exhibit 1) Cute bunny/chicken/duck shaped chocolate. There is nothing more satisfying that biting the head off of a chocolate peanut better filled bunny. Nothing.

Exhibit 2) Jelly beans. They come in an amazing variety of flavors today, unlike the boring basics that I had growing up. Even if you don’t like jelly beans.. you have to like Easter Jelly Beans. Especially the Starburst ones.

Exhibit 3) Russell Stover chocolate covered eggs. These babies come in every flavor combination imaginable – coconut and almond, dark chocolate marshmallow, WEDDING CAKE, strawberry cream, raspberry whip, red velvet, etc. The possibilities are endless and worth every delicious calorie.

Exhibit 4) Candy for breakfast. I have fond memories of running downstairs to my Easter basket and shoveling handfuls of candy into my mouth before my parents woke up. Whereas for Halloween the proper time to start trick or treating isn’t until after dinner… pure torture.

Exhibit 5) Easter candy is bigger. Halloween candy is typically sold in those annoying “fun size” dimensions therefore you need to eat about 2 1/2 bags of the mini Kit Kat Bars to get your candy fix.

Exhibit 6) Gertrude Hawk EASTER smidgens are little nuggets of heaven laced with crack. They are more addicting than any other kind of Gertrude Hawk candy. Sure, those $1 caramel candy bars from your co-worker’s daughters class trip fundraiser are okay but wouldn’t you rather just have a box of pastel bunny smidgens instead? The answer is yes.

Exhibit 7) Easter candy is more colorful. The bright spring colors and flowery packaging makes the candy more inviting and delicious. And I firmly believe that white chocolate has less fat and calories than regular chocolate. Don’t fight me on this.

And last but not least..

Exhibit 8) A magical mythical bunny delivers candy to your house on Easter Sunday. For Halloween you have to GO out and GET the candy whereas for Easter all you have to do is wake up and stumble to your Easter basket. I don’t care if it’s the fucking Donnie Darko bunny coming to my house – if he is dropping off candy he is always welcome.

P.S. Don’t overindulge in Easter candy because the sugar rush you experience might cause you to back your car into a tree. Not that I’d know from experience or anything..

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2 thoughts on “The Easter Candy Case

  1. I don't know.. the Donny Darko easter bunny miiiiight stop me from wanting easter candy..! I bought one of those GIANT bags of Cadbury Mini Eggs. I'm talking the Costco size version. We just finished it and my husband warned me that if I ever bought a bag that big again, he would leave me…


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