Disclaimer: I’m going to get a little serious (Sincerely) today so if you don’t want to read the ramblings of a Bride in Panic Mode, please X out and I promise it won’t hurt my feelings.
I am the world’s worst bride.
There. I said it. And that looks worse in writing.
We’ve been engaged since March 12, 2012 and so far I have the following items planned and set in stone:
1) The Groom (duh)
2) The Date
3) The Venue
And all of those decisions, besides the Groom, just happened this past summer/fall. More than 2 years after the proposal. We didn’t seriously discuss the wedding until this past summer and that’s when I picked the date. We would “talk” about the wedding in passing before and mention things that would be neat to do for a wedding but nothing was ever set in stone.
I started to get anxious this past year since everyone kept asking when we were getting married and I had no answer. I would get strange looks of sympathy anytime I responded with “Oh, not sure yet.”
I kind of always imagined eloping in Vegas but I know our families would still want to be included. And with 2 of my sisters already being bridesmaids in other weddings next year it seemed cruel to ask them to travel for a last minute Vegas wedding and impose ANOTHER expense on them.
I thought of holding out and getting married next year (2016) but once I started “planning” and looking at venues I knew I wanted to do it this upcoming summer. I finally realized that I can’t keep waiting for the “right time” for everyone else to have my wedding. So much could happen in 2 years.. other sisters could be planning weddings, or babies, or God knows what else. If I kept waiting – I knew I’d be waiting forever.
It seems odd to make a huge deal about the wedding when we’ve been together for so long. Has anyone else ran into this problem? It almost feels childish to be like “OHH OHH Look at me! I’m the bride, finally!” So I’m not. Which I think is making this planning process seem unreal.
And as if that isn’t enough to stress about..
I’m also struggling with the idea/tradition of a wedding party. I feel terrible telling my sisters and friends they need to spend money on a dress, shoes, hair, makeup, gifts, hotels, etc. to be a part of my day. It is such a common thing and even I have been in a wedding and never batted an eye at any of the costs but I understand how expensive life is and I don’t want to burden anyone. Sure, I could bypass having a wedding party, but I want those people next to me that day. Is it common to expect bridesmaids to take on all of these expenses? Am I alone in this thinking? Sure, my potential bridesmaids could say no.. but I’m certain they won’t.
Also, the wedding shower… this is another odd tradition to me. I feel weird about having a bridal shower, or telling people what gifts I’d like to receive. I have been to SEVERAL showers over the years and every time I try to imagine myself in that situation and I can’t. We have been living together for years and while I would love matching kitchen accessories and towels (since I still have some from college..) I feel weird asking for presents.
Has anyone else felt like this? Especially with the Worlds Worst Bride feeling? Or the wedding party / bridal shower?