Yesterday I mentioned how I was tackling a few home improvement projects beginning with painting my kitchen walls. Well, I should have said “Today I am tackling my ONLY home improvement project ever because screw this shit I am hiring a professional next time.”
Preferably Al and Tim the Tool Man Taylor.
I was very optimistic about this whole painting project. Thinking “How hard is it to paint a few walls?” The answer is hard. Very friggen hard.
I started with washing the walls first. Which was more of a obstacle than I imagined. Besides slopping soapy hot water all over the hard wood floors and myself I had a bitch of a time reaching the tops of the walls. Why? Because apparently I think my 5’4″ frame is more like that of a NBA star and I failed to realize I would need a step stool or ladder. I used a small table instead which ultimately worked but it was basically like an hour and a half Cross Fit workout.
And Tai, do some Jump Boxes and then your buns will feel like steel. MOVING ON.
Once the walls were washed I decided to go to our local hardware store for painting supplies and a paint roller extender because… I’m short and needed the extra height. The hardware store was open but there was not an employee in sight. I waited. And waited. And contemplated just taking my supplies and leaving an IOU but criminal theft wasn’t on the list of activities for that day so I left.
I stopped by the Dollar Store and picked up a few supplies but realized that the $1 paint brush probably wouldn’t yield the results I desired.
So a 15 minute drive to ANOTHER hardware store was ahead of me. But first, I had to run home and lock the door (since I thought my first trip downtown would’ve lasted 2 seconds not 20 minutes) and make sure the dog wasn’t eating the paint or walls or whatever.
Hardware store trip number 2 was more successful. Thank God.
I unpacked my supplies. Put on my soapy wet clothes from before and started to tape off the walls. I would rather shut my hand in a car door than tape off trim and ceilings. What a pain in the ass. And again.. I had to use my trusty “cross fit” table again. By the time I was actually ready to paint I was so exhausted I contemplated calling someone to finish the job.
I didn’t prime the walls because
I’m an asshole the walls were already painted white and I didn’t think I needed to. Well, I did. Because the original white paint was older and drank up allllll of the paint I was slapping on the walls. I thought a gallon of paint would have been sufficient. Wrong again.
I was able to get one coat out of the gallon but I would need a second coat of paint which meant I’d need another gallon.
I bought the Benjamin Moore paint from a paint store. 30 minutes away. I had to put away the paint supplies so the dog didn’t get into them and make a mess. Change into something not soapy, wet and paint covered and get in the car to drive 30 minutes to the paint store. At 5 p.m.
I didn’t get home until after 6:30 p.m. and by that time I was in no mood to finish the job.
So guess what that means? Round 2 today. Please excuse me while I go cry.