Monday Morning Pep Talk – Calm and Happy

Well well well. Here we are. Another Monday morning. And even though I hate to sound like 99.9% of the population – Monday’s are the worst.

This morning I woke up in a pretty decent mood, despite the fact that it is now pitch black outside when my alarm clock blares to rouse me from my slumber at 5:30 am.

Well actually, I never “slumber,” I don’t think I sleep ever. #insomnia

But that is neither here nor there. Once I was awake, I told myself “Self, let’s have a good day. No negativity. No complaining. We are going to be calm and happy, ALL day.”

It was a nice thought. Even put a smile on a tired face.

I rolled out of bed, walked to the bathroom and was about to jump in the shower when the dog started barking uncontrollably.

I slipped and almost broke my neck in the shower because she startled me.

“Calm and happy” lasted all of 1 minute today. (New personal record!!!)

Call me crazy, but I don’t particularly like starting my morning off with a heart attack or near death experience. What was the dog barking at? No idea. Probably her shadow.

After that, I told myself “Self! Starting NOW.. We are going to be calm and happy.”

Everything was going okay until I was walking out the door and realized my white shirt had a glittery make up bronzer face smear on the front of it.

Fantastic. I was running late so I just had to deal with it. I remembered I had some gaudy chunky necklaces tangled in the bottom of my purse. “Great, I’ll put those on at work to hide the stains. Problem solved!!”

So once again, I had a talk with myself. “Self! CALM… happy….”

After getting stuck behind a parade of school busses, Sunday drivers and tractor-trailers I made it to the highway. I was zooming along and then I see…..

a traffic jam.

“SELF!! Just get through today.. ALL you have to do is get through the day.. without killing someone.”

Easy enough? I hope so. (But I haven’t started untangling those necklaces yet.. that might be the breaking point.)

 Sincerely and Sarcastically,


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