THE VAULT: Trends I Can’t Pull Off – Part 1

Over the past year or so of blogging on and off I have accumulated several blog posts that I wrote and love. I reverted them all back to drafts recently when I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to do with this space. I decided to bring some of those posts back in a weekly segment called The Vault. So if you’ve already seen these – feel free to ignore. If not, please enjoy!

 Sincerely & Sarcastically,


the vault sincerely and sarcastically

THE VAULT: Trends I Can’t Pull Off – Part I

This morning as I was getting ready for work and styling my hair I tried to part my hair/side bangs straight down the middle. And it was atrocious. I just don’t look good with my hair styled certain ways which got me to thinking of other trends/things I can’t pull off. 
Middle Hair Part.
I have tried this 100’s of times and I cannot pull it off. I look awful. Everyone else looks stunning and classy when their hair is styled in a chic middle part. It makes my face look long, odd shaped and just scary. Like this:

side part, middle part, hair, cher movie
Skinny jeans.
I have a problem fitting in jeans – no matter what style, shape or brand. They are either too long in the legs, too tight around the waist, too baggy in the butt, etc. I have always struggled to find jeans so when this skinny trend hit I nearly cried. I do not own a pair of jeans that I am 100% happy wearing. BRING BACK PARIS BLUE BELL BOTTOM FLARE JEANS!

And on the topic of skinny pants… Leggings.
I think I’m just too self conscious to have tight/nearly see through pants on. I have a couple pairs of black leggings but I’ve never worn them anywhere but to my mom’s house. On a Sunday. At night. When it was dark. And I was drunk..
BECAUSE I can’t find skinny jeans or leggings to tuck them into. UGH.

When I wear a tank, with a chunky knit sweater, and a chevron scarf with 14 thousand and fifty bracelets I look like I gained 45 lbs and like I’m trying WAY to hard to be trendy. It doesn’t look natural. Or trendy.

friends joey layering

I have to admit I was in love with a few CW shows (Gossip Girl) back in the day I watched some other awful teen shows too. However.. this show. I just. Can’t. I tried. I reallllly tried to watch this show and like it. After seeing so much hype about the show I rented the first season on Netflix (yes, I am the only person in America to still receive the DVD’s vs streaming) and I watched a few episodes. But I just feel.. old? I don’t know. It’s a high school show and I feel creepy watching it.

Pretty Little Liars, Trendy
Pumpkin Spiced Latte’s have obviously taken over the world. I’ve had 1 my entire life and it was and it was pretty awful. I felt like I was drinking a glass of potpourri.
Trendy, PSL, Pumpkin Spice Latte

I am the world’s WORST selfie picture taker. Don’t believe me?
selfie, trends

Arm candy.
I can’t function with 50 things on my wrist. How the hell do all of you? I love the look of it but I don’t think I’m cool enough to do it. I feel like this..

trends, arm candy, bracelets
Will eventually lead to this..

trends, arm brace
I really need to incorporate healthy food options into my life but the idea of drinking cold, green mush sounds as fun as visiting the dentist and gyno in the same day. I bought a Ninja a few months back with the intentions to try to use it for something other than margaritas (HA!) and I haven’t been brave enough to try it because all I can think of is…
smoothies, trends, slime, nickelodeon
I’m hoping some of these trends fade quickly because I just can’t keep up. 

2 thoughts on “THE VAULT: Trends I Can’t Pull Off – Part 1

  1. Hang in there! Trends will change! You may just be at your best.. when you're 40 or 50! 😉 Selfies are awful anyway. I take em .. but I take like 20 before one is acceptable. (it's usually the first one.) I don't watch any of those shows..! I didn't even know what you meant by PLL at first.. AND- I don't pull off a lot of cool styles either.. like cool headbands.. or big belts. HA.. HA.. HA ! ! ! Nice try, but next time don't!


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