I Didn’t Buy My Fiance A Christmas Gift

And neither did he.

During the past few weeks when people would ask me what I bought Paco for Christmas and I replied with “nothing” I was greeted with a few reactions including:

“Oh”said with a look of horror

“WHY?!”said with a look of horror

“THAT IS SO SAD!”said with a look of horror.

So if you are trying to keep score – apparently everyone thinks I’m a dysfunctional Grinch. Which is not (entirely) the case.

After our long (3 year) engagement we finally decided to plan a wedding, which is set for August 2015. Paco has been working like crazy saving up for this wedding which I appreciate more than even he realizes. And if you’ve never planned a wedding before the only thing you need to know is THEY ARE EXPENSIVE AS HELL.

Therefore, we kind of agreed to forgo the Christmas / birthday / holiday gift exchanges because it seemed like the responsible thing to do. Plus, we’ve been together for so long it seems silly to buy the typical “button down shirt / new purse / house appliance” gifts since we buy that stuff year-round anyway.

Sure, it’s fun to buy things for your fiancé but I’m looking at the bigger picture. And right now that picture is of me in a wedding dress (that I haven’t shopped for yet) with 200 guests (that I need addresses for) watching me walk down the aisle. The thought of trying to figure out the perfect Christmas gift for Paco on top of ALL that, well, quite frankly.. nearly drove me to the bottom of a vodka bottle. So – it was decided – no gifts.

Being responsible is hard…

Wait, who am I kidding?

We PLANNED to do the responsible thing and not buy gifts…

But then..

Then we bought plane tickets and are going to a tropical paradise for a week in February!

I’m going to call it our Pre-Honeymoon.. muahaha.

ST. Thomas USVI Virgin Islands Vacation Pre-Honeymoon

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Let’s Play.

The Movie Saw Puppet

Just kidding.

It’s super easy and called Sincere or Sarcastic. All you have to do is read each statement below and figure out if the statement is intended to sound Sincere or Sarcastic. Let’s start with an easy one:

I’m so glad that I chose to work the week of Christmas instead of using my well-earned vacation time.

Get the picture? Okay, let’s continue.

Oh boy. Another bridal shower!

Thank God my online order was cancelled at the last minute, I love frantically running around stores 2 days before Christmas looking for additional gifts.

I love drivers who don’t use turn signals.

I think it’s funny when my coffee shop gives me the wrong order.

Boy, am I glad I didn’t receive a Christmas bonus.

Oh thank God American Eagle only sells skinny jeans now, they look great on everyone.

Christmas proposals are so unique.

I wish my student loan payments would never end.

Sleeping is overrated, give me a restless night of no sleep anytime!

Blogger spacing issues are a fun challenge.

Wedding vendors are so reasonably priced.

Getting stuck in a traffic jam is relaxing.

These extra 10 pounds on my hips look great.

Rain on Christmas surely puts everyone in the Holiday spirit.

Burning your ear/neck with a flat iron is a great way to start the day.

Sweet! I just remembered I have a dentist appointment after work.

Fantastic.. Taylor Swift is playing on every radio station!

Are you noticing a trend?

*Only 8 more hours.. 8 more hours of work.. 8 more hours…*

May your holiday season be stress free and full of booze love!

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Never Have I Ever.

The other day I told you that I’ve never baked cookies by myself which got me to thinking of other “common” things I’ve never done. (Read: I am a lame ass.)

Never Have I Ever:

Cooked a pot roast/roast beef.
Growing up this was a staple in our house. I looked forward to the days when Mom had a big hunk of pot roast in the oven with mashed potatoes and homemade gravy. Although I love that meal more than anything.. I’ve never cooked it myself.

Had my own apartment.
I received a partial scholarship for college with one of the stipulations being that I live on campus all four years to “experience” the college life. Living in a dorm didn’t bother me since I have 3 sisters and I shared a room my whole life. After sophomore year though I opted to pay for a single dorm room which I loved. It was like my own apartment. My very tiny, single 1 bedroom apartment, with 500+ roommates.

College Life

Dyed my hair pink or some other crazy color.
I was pretty boring growing up. Well, I guess the right word would be responsible. I think my mother would have killed me if I came home with hot pink or blue hair. Even when I got into my teenage years I didn’t care to do something crazy like that since I always had a job and I assumed employers didn’t like the rebellious teen look.

Gotten a tattoo.
Sure, I’ve thought about it. But not seriously. My sister has a few and I love hers but I am just too chicken. And cheap. And indecisive. Therefore- no ink for me.

Driven a stick shift car.
Paco has tried to teach me a few times but I am just un-teachable when it comes to driving standard.

Eaten sushi.
The thought doesn’t really interest me.

Played a sport.
I wasn’t on a basketball, softball, or baseball team growing up. I was a cheerleader in high school though.

Had braces.
Although, I think I could have benefited from them I never had braces.

Traveled for work.
I am SO jealous of all you people who fly around the country for work. Hook a sister up.

Fired a gun.
Growing up in NEPA this is hard to believe since the majority of people I know are hunters.

Been to Disneyland or Disneyworld.
Maybe one day when I have kids I’ll take them?

Watched Gone with the Wind.
I have no idea how I managed to avoid this movie since my mother and sister love it. But I’ve never watched the whole thing.

Read the classics.
Such as Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice, Catcher in the Rye and so on.

Been out of the country.
Minus a class trip to Canada in the 6th grade I’ve never been out of the U.S.

Had a fancy Starbucks drink.
I drink black coffee therefore skinny latte mochas cupcake milkshake sprinkle sparkle drinks are not my style.

Dunking Donuts Coffee large Black

Not bitten my nails.
I am a terrible nail biter and cannot quit no matter how much I try.

What are some of your “Never Have I Evers?”

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Knock it Off, Monday! + Weekend Things

I am in no mood for you Monday. So knock it off.

This weekend FLEW by. I got some shopping done but am nowhere near finished. You know, with only 10 days left and all.. what’s the rush? *eye roll*

I think Bailey’s blog debut went to her head because this weekend she was a royal pain in the ass. Friday she almost got hit by a truck when she darted out into the road. That ruined my whole night. And nearly my whole life because… yeah I can’t even imagine. She spent the rest of the night sulking and sucking up.

Saturday I woke up and promptly turned on Netflix because I found a new addiction. The Killing. It’s pretty good and I need something to occupy my time until The Following starts. I guess it’s safe to say that I am addicted to crime shows.

Saturday night we went shopping and I wandered around the stores mindlessly freaking out that I have no idea what to buy people. What are some good gifts for an 8 year old boy besides the typical Lego’s and remote control car stuff?

Sunday I decided to bake cookies. For the first time ever.Yup,  I managed to never bake a cookie in my 28 years of living. How is that possible you might ask? Well, my mom is an awesome baker and my sisters are too so I never HAD to bake. Cookies just always magically appeared. My cookies turned out “okay” but I guess I just don’t like sugar cookies. Kind of bland tasting to me. Any no-fail cookie recipes you’d like to share?

Sugar Cookie Christmas Cut Outs

Christmas Sugar Cookie Cut Outs

Christmas Cookies Sugar Cookies Cut Outs

cookies, sugar, cut out, christmas cookies

Christmas Sugar Cookie Cut Outs

Christmas Sugar Cookie Cut Outs and Icing

Christmas Sugar Cookie Cut Outs

Christmas Sugar Cookie Cut Outs

christmas halloween cookie
I told you.. I love Halloween.

Then we fed Bailey a cookie because we’re bad parents and she got sick and threw up all over. Nothing like ending your weekend by cleaning up smelly dog vomit.

Border Collie Christmas Cookie

Border Collie Christmas Cookie

Border Collie Christmas Cookie

P.S. Paco ate the cookies too and DIDN’T throw up.. so my cookies weren’t the cause of the dog vomit so don’t even….

Bella And The City

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Guest Post – Miss Bailey Sue Border Collie

border collie, blog, guest post, dog

I’m taking over Mom’s blog today. No need to thank me. We all know she’s been slacking lately with this whole thing which is ironic since she doesn’t do anything else besides vacuum and complain about pet hair (damn cat anyway…) She has more than enough time to blog, don’t let her fool you.

I wanted to hack into her blog because I have a few things to say and I’ve seen Veenie and the General do this a few times at Venus Trapped in Mars. Mom has never offered to let me guest post but I think that’s because she’s still a little pissed at me since I stole her fiancé. Whatever.

It was 3 years ago on December 3rd that Dad adopted me and I thought I’d take this time to thank Dad and the housekeeper, I mean Mom for all they do for me. So thanks.

border collie, blog, guest post, dog, chevy camaro

But why I’m really here is to discuss a few serious matters. Every great relationship starts with communication, or something like that. I heard it on Dr. Phil the other day. So, without further ado:

border collie, blog, guest post, dog

The bragging. While I love to hear you tell everyone about the cool tricks I do and how adorable I am.. it is too much pressure. Have you ever heard of stage parents? Yeah? Well then get a hobby and get off my back.

border collie, blog, guest post, dog

The crate. Really? What in the actual hell were you thinking with that crap? I’m glad you finally realized I was un-crateable and now we can all live happily together. Without a cage.

My new bed. That big fluffy king sized bed is my favorite. I’m glad you now see that little napkin sized bed on the floor wasn’t up to par. But really? White sheets? And my black fur? Duh.

Bones. I hear you guys making fun of me when I don’t eat the rawhides but rather hide them around the house. Stay out of my business.

Goldfish crackers. I think it’s time you swapped out my boring old food for Goldfish crackers. You know how much I love them.

Walks. This is a serious one. Why don’t we go for walks in the winter? All summer long we went for long strolls through the neighborhood and I miss that, What gives? You silly humans can’t handle a brisk wintry walk? How about you go collect alllllll of that pet hair that you bitch about and sew yourself a little furry jacket to put on your wimpy ass and take me for a walk?

The cuddling has got to stop. Just because I’m little doesn’t mean you can  grab me whenever you want. I’m starting to develop a complex.

Baths. Are you trying to drown me? And what’s up with that groomer lady who comes by once a month? Do you like paying other humans to torture me? Because I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.

This one might be the most serious offense… the nicknames. Oh God. The nicknames.Why do you need to have so many of them? Bay-Ree. BaileyBoo. Sugar. Suggie Bear. Suggie Monster. Princess Bear. Prettiest Girl in the World. Sweet Little Baby Princess Fluffy Ears. Seriously. Stop. You’re embarrassing yourself.

So, as you can see we have a lot to work on. Thankfully, the New Year is right around the corner and now you have a drafted list of Resolutions. You’re welcome.

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